Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Charlie vs. Heating and Cooling - Part 2

If you remember back to the original Charlie vs. Heating and Cooling, my ancient central air conditioning unit died a terrible death last year. After having saved what I hoped would be enough to pay for a new one this year, I began pursuing it when the hot weather hit. I was fed up with the incompetent buffoonery I experienced with Doug the AC Guy and Whenever We Feel Like It Heating & Cooling. I decided to contact a guy I knew from high school who happened to have a job selling what I needed. Just to show him that I didn't want to deal with any bullshit, I even directed him to my blog so he could see what I'd been through. Little did I know I would be in for more bullshit, and it wouldn't even be their fault.

When Doug the AC Guy first came out to look at my AC, he said my unit was 1.5 ton and replacing it would be around $1,000. But since Doug is a fucking moron, this wasn't even close to true. When I had the guy out from Whenever We Feel Like It to look at my furnace, I mentioned that my AC was toast. He said I would have to replace the compressor as well as the refrigerant coil because of some new hippie government regulation forcing them to use more environmentally friendly coolant. Ok, fine...

So when I contacted Bryan from Williams Heating Service, I told him what the deal was and what I thought I needed. He came out to check it out and found that my old unit was actually a 2.5 ton (therefore, more expensive). In order to replace it, and do all the electrical and line work, I was looking at $2,500. I wasn't enthused about spending $1,500 more than I thought, but it wasn't the end of the world.

A little further along in the process, Bryan needed the specifications of my furnace since it sat on top of the refrigerant coil, and it holds the fan that blows stuff (as if a fan has any other function...) When he got back to me after looking at the specs, he had some bad news. My current furnace was not rated nor even legal to have in a mobile home. It was smaller than normal trailer furnaces since and was more for heating a garage or small cabin. Because of liability issues, Williams understandably didn't want to work on it without replacing the furnace as well. FUCKING ASS COLON BREATH!

Whichever dickhead put the furnace in before either didn't know or didn't care that it wasn't legally rated for a trailer. They just wanted something cheap. My brain went back in to its archives and played back a distinct memory for me - Dick (the previous owner of my trailer) showing me around the house and telling me how he put the furnace in himself and built the closet around it. DICK WAS THAT DICKHEAD!!! Considering what a hack he was, I'm sure he knew the furnace was undersized and didn't give a shit. I guess Dick must be used to having things that are smaller than normal size... Somehow this fact also eluded the jackass home inspector. When he came through, the only thing he had an issue with was literally how many centimeters the newly rebuilt deck stairs were off the ground. The need to build the stairs yet again almost made me miss my closing date. But yet he managed to overlook the goddamn illegal furnace...

What did all this mean for me? If I wanted a new frosty cold central air conditioner, I would have to get a new furnace too. This caused the price of everything to bloat to $5,000 (that was even a good deal because of me going thru Bryan). By this point I was pissed, but I also knew I pretty much didn't have a choice. I know this might disappoint all of you, but I don't plan on being trailer trash forever! Whenever I decide to sell this place, I would have a hard time doing so with a rusty old dead air conditioner sitting outside and illegal furnace inside. So since I had to replace everything, I decided I might as well do it now so I can enjoy it while I'm here.

We worked out the rest of the deal and got the contract done. Bryan and his crew came and installed everything over the course of a day. When I came home, I was greeted with a sensation that felt like taking a big bite out of a glacier. I had a functional air conditioner, and it was as cold as the arctic. I have yet to pay a dime for any of it, but I know that bill for 5 G's is ominously lurking like Nobama outside Ms. D's bedroom window. In the meantime, I am basking in its frigid glory during this nasty heat wave. The polar ice caps may be melting, but new ones are forming inside my trailer. Soon, National Geographic will be tracking polar bears making a pilgrimage to Brown Mountain Trailer Park.

If you find yourself going through the same crap as me, I recommend contacting Bryan H. at Williams Heating Service. They had the great service I sorely needed! Tell 'em Trailer Park Charlie sent ya!

1 comment:

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